Porpoise

This is the Official Blog of A Distant Window. It is owned and operated by an overweight college student who acts as a front for a large multinational conglomerate operating out of Uzbekistan, which is in turn a dummy corporation for a small Bulgarian taco stand in Canada, which is little more than the fake address of a mid-size Japanese firm specializing in paper products, laundry detergents, and assorted plush toys that processes all the funds, paperwork, tax documents, and employment records for the trained monkey that is the CEO of Wal-Mart, Microsoft, and Starbucks. His name is Sizu. You may be surprised to learn, then, that Wal-Mart, Microsoft, and Starbucks are little more than tax shelters for the little-known franchised chain of Sizu’s Ape Products and Banana Emporium. There have been allegations that Sizu’s store is itself, in fact, a dummy corporation for a mysterious triumvirate of alien lifeforms that seek to dominate the universe, but those charges have yet to be upheld in any impartial court of law that Sizu recognizes as legitimate.

The proposed mission statement of this Blog, which has completed Market Testing and is now in the process of being approved by the advertising firm, is “To Say Words.” Resistance has been met by those in Engineering, who feel the mission statement should be more geared towards the construction of suspension bridges over smallish bodies of water and the development of more reliable safe-cracking techniques. However these suggestions have not been taken into consideration due to the Blog’s lack of interest in those areas, nevermind our producing works of writing and not concrete spans.

The main purpose of this website fan fiction blog journal fizzick (you know what, on second thought let’s just stick with blog) “Blog” is to provide a webspace for Aaron Tank, Mass Communications Major at MidAmerica Nazarene University in Olathe, KS, to post his musings on life, God, and every*thing, reviews of books/movies/ music/coffee shops/sociopolitical theories/ manifestos/ photographs/et cetera/and other things. This is not a place for him to gripe about his day, his lack of skill in pursuing the ladies, or his displeasure with the shape of his toes. So, don’t be worried- none of that here. Darn toes.

Hopefully, he will be able to increase his prowess with the craft of positing ideas in a manner conducive to intelligent discussion. That is the idea any way. Wibble.

So. Enjoy the Official Blog of A Distant Window. Also, check out A Distant Window photography on Flickr. Also, pay a visit to Ever & Anon, the Official Companion Blog to the Official Blog of A Distant Window, which is written by a totally different person in a totally different style on slightly different topics but we’re friends so we give each other a plug. And stuff. Okay. \\

Go away.

No wait.

Stay here.

Please?

*In the interest of complying with the laws regarding the implementation of descriptive writing set down during the reign of Olaf Quimby 11, Patrician of Ankh, every is used in this sense to refer to a wide variety of topics but not literally “every” thing. Everything is a ridiculously broad range of topics, and to attempt to write on all them would be an exceedingly silly proposition almost-certainly doomed to failure. So, this blog will be over a very broad range of topics that I do not feel like listing at this time, partially because I don’t know them, and will mostly write about what I feel like writing about as has already been mentioned at other points on this “Blog.” Okay. Please return to the \\.

3 responses to “Porpoise

  1. At least your toes aren’t on your hand.

  2. put my page in this…i’m a companion

  3. barefootelegance

    Love this…this is possibly the most creative “About” page I’ve ever seen!

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